Meet Julia

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Meet Julia

“Everything in my life looks great…,” Julia said during our first conversation, “yet, I dread getting out of bed in the morning. I lie around all day watching TV, eating and getting fat. I’m afraid that one day my husband will finally notice and he’ll divorce me.”

“Being thin and perfect was everything to my mother,” Julia told me. “She was always on a diet. She spoon fed me stories about happy, thin girls and lonely, fat girls. For years I subsisted on caffeine and cigarettes to stay thin.”

“Ouch! That’s a lot of pressure!” I responded.

“I never stopped to question her philosophy on life: thin girls marry rich, handsome men, wear pretty clothes and live in beautiful homes- and I would, of course, want all of that.”

“Thin girls marry rich, handsome men, wear pretty clothes and live in beautiful homes- and I would, of course, want all of that.”

“Well, I have it all now but I’m fat and miserable. And worse, I’m afraid that I taught my own daughter all the wrong things,” she said.

Julia felt lost in a life that she didn’t choose and she had a lot of unlearning to do before she could accept new ways to think, feel and behave. So, we decided to take the slow and winding road to discover her “one wild and precious life,” as poet Mary Oliver described.

We worked together to reconnect her to her ‘Self’ and replace her mother’s voice with her own. She learned to cultivate her heart, reject the cultural image of perfection and define her own sense of beauty. In the midst of this seachange, we talked a lot about authenticity, purpose and luscious living.

We spent two weekends together setting the foundation for Julia’s life revitalization project. One weekend, we joined a silent retreat in a Georgia monastery where we worked, ate, and meditated in silence to turn her attention inward.

The second weekend we explored the beauty and bounty of food. We took a cooking class, bought local produce from the farmers market and planted an herb garden by her kitchen door to feed her new found love of cooking. That weekend was anything but silent. Julia caught up on a lifetime of laughing and crying in two days.

The second weekend we explored the beauty and bounty of food. Julia caught up on a lifetime of laughing and crying in two days.

I introduced Julia to journaling as a method of self-discovery and she quickly took to the practice. As she began to get to know herself, she explored her feelings and her relationships with food and with others. Her new found love of writing opened the door for her to join a writer’s workshop where she made new friends who share her creative passion. She began writing short stories that are “not half bad” and she dreams of publishing them one day.

Julia’s life didn’t become rich and delicious all at once. Her mother had given her a pillow embroidered with “You can’t be too rich or too thin,” and her mission to “prove the pillow wrong” was a tough road. But, Julia was brave. As she reimagined her life, she also worked on correcting the course of her relationships with her daughter and husband.

Julia is now a conscious choice-maker who is passionate for life. “I know who I am and I know what I want in life.” She recently told me that she tossed the old pillow and replaced it with one that says: “Be you. The world (and your mother) will adjust.”

Does perfectionism or living by someone else’s rules diminish your light?If so, let’s schedule a free, no-strings attached, 20 minute phone chat to see if we’re a good match for one-to-one psychology of weight coaching.